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/May/10

CyberSoft

By: Az@znt8 @ 14:43 (EDT) / 215 / Comment ( 0 )

Decided to work on my own dream optimisation/analysis software. Got to plan what to do with my big score (tba). First thing's a good name... RTGVPlus. That was easy. Pleased with the name. Real Time GTO(exploitative) Variance Plus.     Wow - I want one already & i just made it up. It's even got the word plus in it! That's gotta be for the good. I want it to be flexible, with lots of cool sounding modules that you can select. Plug in modules >>>
PMT  Phase of Moon Transform. Significant statistical anomalies in poker playing lycanthropes,astronomers & females.
BRO  Bio Rhythmn Optimization  Optimised across all three frequencies.
CAT  Canine Attenuated Trope   Does your Dog look happy or sad? Psychic dogs can predict what's for dinner. Weiner! Weiner! Chicken Deener!
ICM   I Ching Modulation        7 variations.
FTG  Fold? That Guy!!          Adaptive enhancement for that guy you gotta crush.Just because. -ev but ++ oh yeah factor.
ABC  Always Bet Crudd          Super Aggro Enhancer. Beta Feature - very hard to switch off.    
PHI  Public Holiday Info           Is it a national holiday somewhere today? Alcohol & poker is usually -ev. (disclaimer - Effsea factor)
STAR Stereo Type Augment:Race. Do people in countries all play the same?  Find out! End the conjecture.Those pesky R***ians!! Grrrr! (choose your own prejudice)
DOG   Defense/Offense Gradient  Check / raise optimiser. Whimper, bark or bite?  
FISH   Five in seven Hands       When you just gotta see the river.Fish need water.
DONK Defense/Offense negative Kludger Want to steadily lose chips or win them all? Still a popular choice. Will it ever stop?
GG    Good Grief                Gaurenteed to tilt the whole table.
FIT   Feline Intelligence Trope. Kitty like the flush draw? Awwww. Adorable.
MEOW  Massively Enhanced Optimal Whiskers.  Whiskers!
BARK  Basic Anti Raise Kludger  Grrr! My blinds!
WTF    When to Fold.  Optimised Matrix based fold play. Opponents will all go WTF!
  I might have to buy 2 of these.That's enough to be going on with. Don't want to be too complicated. What else? Special features are always good...
>>> Revolutionary Variance Optimiser!  (Awesome. Variance is the part of my game that really messes with my ROI.)
>  When your variance is positive then you are +ev!!! {This stuff writes itself. Honest! No discernible skills required.}
>  When variance is negative it will advise you to play at lower buy in / frequency. {Saves you money! People like saving money.I know I do.}
>  Maximise winning by eliminating variance for ever!!!! {Nailed it. I'm definitely pumped about this product. Why isn't it on the market? Mhahahwhah. The money's gonna roll in.}
Think I've covered all the bases. Good name, mass market appeal, lots of cool sounding stuff, it's got cats & dogs & a special feature.
  Customise your poker style & analyse your results in real time. User Defined Bet/Fold/Raise tables. We offer you optimisations that baffle mathematicians, confound reason & defy logic! Do not expect your poker to get any better. Please note this is not a real product. You will lose money if you follow this model... but then again you never know. All jokes were made at your expense. NASH HASH TRASH FASH CASH SMASH GNASH (all -ASH models detected for your elucidation & enlightenment.

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