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BuffaloChips

/Mar/2011

...if I ever cash......

By: Buffa1oChips @ 13:54 (EDT) / 34 / Comment ( 0 )
     Theres not a man alive that hasn't thought of what he would do with a lottery windfall.   All manner of pricey crap floats in your head like a carousel at the Price is Right.  The second wave consists of hair transplants,new teeth and a personal trainer.  The third seems to lean toward the philanthropic....free education for all my nieces and nephews....sponser a third world kid....buy everyone in Iowa a cocktail.
     It took a month of freeroll grinding to ascertain what it is I truly want if I cash handsomely.

    ....a new chair

    Early Monday morning as I was watering the dogs, I watched the Town of Tonawanda garbage boys toss the remnants of what was my Office Max Executive model 3433 leather 'big man'  CEO approved Desk Master into the back of the big yellow recyclables truck.   I manged to get off a weak salute as it rumbled away.

    In the interim I commandered one of the three 'stack' chairs my employees suffered sitting on while I cut their checks and directed their lives.   Now I have to wonder if that driver I was interveiwing was really nervous or plainly tortured by this sitting device.
     ....appearantly both

     I took out a couple of hours going 'chair shopping'. ...came home empty handed.    I could faintly hear 'Pop Goes The Weasel' as I tried row after row of executive desk seating.   Store to  store to mega mall.....

     Now at the reeeeeally big mega mall I was momentarily distracted by the food court...that'out of the oven' cinnamonny smell. To get there I had to pass the mega anchor department store....i cant explain what made me take the hard right and seek out the escalators to the furniture department.    Its the same feeling that your Ace slash rag is going to hold up against that suspiciously weak raise from the cutoff guy.

     and there it was....
     .....a tufted leather thing of beauty
     .....the padding was padded
     ....the seat sumptuous
     ....adjustable lumbar
     ...  button push height adjustable
     .....involved an electrical cord...could it be!!??
     ......yes sir!...massage unit

     Price....$1148.99

     Okay....I had committed my self to three hundred or so...I'm a man of modest means....substance over this...functionality over that.....      ....I want this!    .I deserve this!   ....damn,I look good in this!

     ...and I cant afford this...    The matronly store asst to the asst manager is making her way over to shoo me out of the free massage.

      I,m home again with all the pillows in my collection....this combo and that..too soft...too slick...the tassels tickle my calves.

    Damn ..missed the daily 90K again...Now i'm commmitted to drilling farts into my bed pillow for hours...a fine incentive to cash quickly .   For those that play me regularly you'll have to factor in bloodless aching legs and throbbing lumbar into that late all-in push from me....


     

    
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