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my poker bankroll will grow as I develop the bank roll management thats necessary to ajoin attributes.!

It seems everytime i get ready to compete in poker like real seriously , meaning no limit games , and tournaments that ive researched, but every time i build my bankroll and get ready for the matches i ve set up for myself in the near future I always deplete my bankroll before the big game or matchup because of my addiction to gambling. For instance a while back I saved my paychecks and did real well at a no limit game that I had buy ins to poker tourneys for a month and no limit games. Only to fall to my disease of gambling and I lost my bankroll chasing the dragon playing slot machines. Tragic. Now my company I work for is about to close. I will be outta work. After six years of working for my company the doors will finally close. For my six years of work I take my work ethic my dedication and my many result s I turned in daily to my company with me , my friends of course I made and great relationships that I have. It is definately a blessing. The only thing that could of made it all better would have been to save my money. You see through six years of work I have nothing to show.. No money in the bank no new shoes or clothes no schooling no degrees no nothing.. I gambled every dollar I made in six years. Online and offline. I am f I sick to my stomach knowing this. So With all that being said you have to imagine I became a good gambler. Yep I am an icredible gambler now. With every loss i took after countess nights and days gambling when it was all over I took the loss but I also learned something every time out . I used to say it s a waste to gamble all night be up money but not walk away till I lost all it would be a shame i didnt learn something from it.. So I have so many learning points that now just on the subject of gambling alone I could write a book no joke. A very meaningful spiritual enlighting book with study points self evaluation and learning curves. I know so much now more than ever before in fact I will never go back to the gambler that I once was. Infact I gamble now knowing I am on another level than other players. Not only did I learn very strategic points of gambling but I became an incredible No limit poker player. Incredible gambler and tournament player. So with all this being said just yesterday after a long graveyard shift at work and know ing were almost out of work soon I took my couple hundred dollars I saved and went to play in a tournament after work cheap one and then went to play live. Problem is they didnt have no limit only limit and well I lost all in that ring game, and the tournament. Now once again I lost the only money I have and yess I am one incredible player with knowledge but once again I lost my only means to eat. I am so disgusted with myself I really dont know what to do. Look for work but why , Because I lost every dollar I made working the last six years . But I have bills so I have to choose something. I have wanted to play in the World Series Of Poker for the last three years maybe the buy in for the Main Event is too steep but one of the thousand dollar events would of been fine to try to win the money for the main event or even a poker series like at the Bicycle Casino or Commerce Casino but I never got the chance . Every time I saved the money up I blew it gambling before I could ever put myself in a oppurtunity to shine. I dont know if I will ever play in something meaningfull to let poker players around the world know my name but it seems I will have to wait and when the timing is right and Ive earned my chance or saved the money then and only then will everyone know who I am.
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/Sep/2010

tournament focus

By: GCchipmagnet @ 23:29 (EDT) / 240 / Comment ( 0 )
after just two days of play i was climbing and scratching my way up the ladder rankings here at the PSO. Everything was set in play and the wheels were rolling I was able to play in 3 tournaments today and 3 yesterday. After not playing much at all this month, which was not in my plans, I finally got the chance to beable to play, After my birthday the other day I was suprised with a laptop in which to play at my leisure not having to be somewhere there is a internet connection or finding time to be on the network when someone else isnt using the computer, well I ran deep into 2 tournaments on Day 1 winning one PSO tourney and on Day 2 i came out and played well in the first tournament but fell shy of the money, when my pocket aces ran into pocket nines and a nine flopped, ouch, busted, Ok so the Second tournament of Day 2 was much better thus making the money in fact coming down to just 4or 5 tables and seating me with Bigman who I played heads up fot the win the previous night, in fact there was a hand where Bigman called a raise and I held the AJ off. I folded because I was caught off guard for a moment and off my game, same thing happened latter in the next tournament didnt want to be in a situation where we all held a ace, and I was behind a bigger ace or pair with no ace to come so i folded and Bigman had A8 the raiser all in had A4 i folded AJ and the flop came KQT. I couldnt believe the mistake I made. It costed me later when I was moved tables and went all in with pocket eights and my oponnent flopped AQ for two pr busted out but made the money and the pts , thus propelling me another 35 pts to land somewhere now in the 1650 range, or higher with one tournament left to go on the Day that im already playing in and playing deep again , thus giving me a chance and I feel where I can make the money again score another 35 pts or better and cliimbing into the 1700 ranking and yesterday I started below 1500. With this Im even more eager now to find the time tools and ability to play and climb a bit higher. Well it can happen right? Im upset when in the last tournament of Day 2 the third game i was in, with only 498 players to go and I have about 5500 in chips in the top 100 being patient and waiting to make the money again when I lost focus and did something I knew better than, when I think of it I got in my own way and was my worst own enemy. I called the big blind with KTo and the board came Ten high with both the blinds and one other caller I was familiar with the players in preflop and well I checked and so did everyone else. On the turn a 7 came still smaller than the Ten high board I watched everyone check and well because Im just a amatuer yet the blinds all the callers all this money in the pott late in this tournament I fired all in after multi tabling coming back to screen from another room and typing with friends and playing and that board turn and river made a str8 for his 57off in fact when I didnt make a move preflop on the flop and just on the turn I missed what the other cards on board were, I just knew my Ten high was still top pair and so mistakenly i called got put out of the money the pts the 1700 and all. But my fellow poker players novice to amatuers it is possible to climb the ladder and in a short period of time but I would suggest you play at your very best have some time and resources for it eat your daily vitamins and put on your thinking cap, and I believe you can make it ahead of the majority , play your A game and keep your focus this is really important, in order to finish you can play deep into tourneys all day but to make the final you will need to keep your focus the whole time 100% good luck at the table and in life.
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