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The diary of a donk

By GamblingProp, a poker player who spells and plays poker poorly
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Are you a poker addict?

By: GamblingProp @ 07:06 (EST) / 916 / Comment ( 12 )

Am I playing too much poker? Do I have to find a non poker related hobby? Should I get a new haircut? Is my love for Vladimir Putin justified? 

If those questions crossed your mind before, then look no further.

Dr. GamblingProp Phd, OCD, ACDC is here to help you spot your problem.

Here are the 5 things that make you a poker addict.

5. You speak with poker terms in your everyday life

If you get stuck in traffic and the first thing you say is: ''What a beat''.

You call your enemies ''villains'' and people who are not so intelligent ''donks''.

Whenever you get mad you make sure to blame it on the fact that you are ''on tilt''.

Cops again? Rigged! 

All of the above show that you are surely a poker addict and you need medication.

4. Always looking for a poker game

You walk casually on the street and you suddenly notice a casino.

If you barely even notice it, congratz you are going to the poker heaven.

But if you walk by having to resist to your temptation into getting in, and finding out what games are going on, or even worse you enter without any second thoughts.

Well it seems my friend, that you are more addicted to poker than Charlie Sheen is to cocaine.

Don't worry though, there is still hope.

Just kidding there isn't.

3. You talk about poker more than anything else

Ok I get it, you like talking about poker because it's your favourite hobby, or your part-time, full-time job.

But what the hell are you doing, trying to explain to your grandfather reverse implied odds and balncing his squeezing range?




-Look our grandson just sent us a text message. Do you have any idea what the ''I just chopped the warm up'' means?  

You should realize that out there, a lot of people don't like poker or don't even know how to play it.

So stop wasting their precious time which they succesfully spent on being bored to death, with your poker advice thingy, you pokerhead!

2. First thing you do in the morning

You wake up after a tiring day, your eyes are half opened, your knees barely can hold you and your legs feel like they were being tortured by a group of worms.

So what do you do after that?

1- You make some coffee.

2- You wash your eyes.

3- You eat breakfast.

4- You open the poker client and fire up 4 tables.

If your answer was number 4 or a combination of it with the other answers, in that case you need a session in a poker rehabilitation centre immediately.

1. Dreams of chips

As my collegue Sigmund Freud said, dreams are all forms of wish fulfillment attempts by the unconscious to resolve a conflict of some sort.

Although I don't know what that means, I can tell you for sure that if your dreams consist of winning the WSOP main event or the Sunday Million, you have a big poker problem.

Freud getting owned by Ivey

Dreams should be about fears, predicting the future and perverted sexual desires, not you shuffling chips and having a massive upswing or downswing.

That's all I had to say about poker addicts and I am hoping there is a special place for all of you somewhere...


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