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I Am Not a Poker Player

Well guys, in the words of George Oscar Bluth “I’ve made a huge mistake.”  I’ve really done it to myself this time. 

When I play poker, I drink.  Heavily.  I do this for a few reasons.  As I stated above:  I am not a poker player.  So when I’m playing poker, I’m mostly doing it for fun.  I also drink when I have fun, so it’s kind of a no brainer.  Believe me, if there were a way to combine sex and video games, I would have done it.  And also believe me:  I’ve tried. 

So when I’m playing poker, I take little notes of the funny stuff that happens, so I can write about it later.  The problem is that I don’t take very good notes. 
This is because a) I always forget to bring a notebook, and when I don’t not-forget, I then forget to take it home with me, so b) I don’t want to be on my phone the entire time, and c) I don’t want the guy next to me to lean over and see that I’ve just written “Guy next to me smells like garlic and farts.”

So I’ll typically right a note that just says “The guy next to me…” and leave it at that.
If I go home and write the blog right away, I am usually able to piece together what happened.  In the case of the $340 bounty tournament I played at the Commerce last month, I didn’t. 

Unfortunately, when I got home, I ordered up Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie on pay per view, and I put the blog off.  I proceeded to put it off for about a month.  I put it off like getting an STD test. 
I was rather excited to play this tournament.  It was actually Huff’s idea (my long-time radio co-host), which was a huge shock, as it was the first non-business/non-birthday-party event Scott had invited me to since his wedding.  When Scott comes off the leash, I usually come a runnin.’ Which is also why so much drinking happened.  It was a day out with my buddy who I rarely get to see. 

I really really hate tournaments at this point (I haven’t lost a full buy-in at a cash game in over a year), because I am a stone-cold pussy and am incapable of making a real move.  But this was a bounty tournament, with $100 bounties, which made it more appealing, because I could make my money back without necessarily having to cash.

The only other thing I can remember is the general attitude of the people at the Commerce.  I really don’t play a lot of live tournaments, but everyone was just so angry.  Ok.  Not everyone.  But a lot of them.  They were angry and cocky and pretty-much-out-of-their-minds-bad.  Not just bad at poker, but bad at life – bad at being human beings
I know you know what I’m talking about.

That’s about all I remember off the top of my head.  However, this is where the fun really starts.  Stay tuned to my next post, and I’ll share all of those notes with you, and I’ll do my best to help explain what they mean.  If I don’t remember:  I’ll make something up.

Oh, and SPOILER ALERT, I didn’t win the tournament.

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