Before you start going off and saying that Big Papa has gone soft, Read the story. I have stated many times that I am the “Luckiest Guy In The World” and that is true but, not because I hit the 2 outer.
I am lucky because God has given me the best house full of girls a man could ever ask for Lucy, Lyndsey, Kaity and Mackenzie. There are no boys in Big Papa’s house even the dog is a girl. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Lucy is the best woman a man could ever hope to find, she takes care of me and I don’t know what I would do without her. I had to laugh the other day she was on the phone with someone and I overheard her say “I can’t wait until the world series of poker!” She went on to talk about all the things she was going to do and how all of our girls would be there, on and on. The thing you need to know is that Lucy has never played a hand of cards, none of the girls have and she doesn’t want to. She loves the WSOP because she knows how happy it makes me and instead of acting like I am dragging her there she makes her own fun, shopping and doing the pool thing. That is just the kind of woman she is and it’s not an act, she LOVES it! The fact that there is a poker game going on really doesn’t matter to her very much. If you guys could find a girl like I did, you would be damn lucky because God made very few like my Lucy.
The point to all this is that my Lucy asks me for VERY little and I love her very much, so when she asks, she gets. “Baby Boy, maybe one night if you get knocked out would you go play Bingo with me this year at the World Series?” I gave my stock response “I would love to.”
We were getting ready to go to the Gold Coast, we read on the internet that that was the Mecca of Bingo in Vegas and if I was going to play Bingo I wanted the highest Bingo action in town, when John Galt himself call our room. “Hey, Bubba let’s go to the RIO and stab some fish in the gills at the Sit-n-Goes.” I said that I couldn’t I had plans; I was REALLY hoping he wouldn’t ask. He did, “I am going to play Bingo with Lucy and I don’t need you to give me a bunch of crap about it.” Then the man with steely nerves said something I couldn’t believe. “Can I come?” I told him to meet us at the cab line in front of the Bellagio, but if all he wanted to do was come and make trouble I would be kicking his ass.
Lucy was Giddy, she LOVES Bingo and tonight the boys were going with her to do something that was only for her. It is the only thing that she does that is even close to gambling. We got out of the cab and we could see the RIO from the Gold Coast, it was in fact across the street. Lucy made the offer as is her style, “You guys are just being nice to me, you two just walk right over there to the World Series and let me do my bingo that is where you want to be huh?” We laughed, don’t be silly we want to, besides you are probably saving us a ton of money, I mean how expenses could bingo be? We were about to find out.
We walked into the Bingo hall upstairs and got in line to buy in, now for those of you who are not hip, you don’t have to dob paper at the bingo hall anymore if you don’t like to do that. They will sell you a little laptop computer called a TED with all the cards you want to play are loaded up and it marks all your cards for you automatically. I told Lucy to get whatever she wanted cards wise and she was discussing with the lady what the best deal was and I turned to Jason and said “You want side action?” and he said “Does Rose Kennedy have a black dress?” he continued with “How much?” and I told him I thought that $100.00 for closest to bingo when it gets called would be fair and he said “Ok, but Texas rules.” I agreed to that. Texas rules is like double or nothing except the player that is behind gets to declare a double for more so that if he wins he is not just even, he is ahead.
Lucy had decided what she wanted and was shaking her head at our negotiations. “You boys can’t walk across the street without making a bet on which gets there first, let’s get our machines people are waiting.” What she really meant was people are looking at us and wondering what we were doing, she hates that. It was going to be a bad draw for hating that tonight. I asked her how much I need to play the lady for her Ted and she told me $36.00. I paid for her and she was off to find us a table, likely in a corner to reduce her embarrassment for our extra gambling which she was sure was illegal and were going to get arrested for.
I ask the lady behind the counter how much for the most cards one of these computers will hold and she said “Everything, all the special and all the extras?” The most you can buy is what I want. She did some number crunching on her POS and declared that the most money you could spend on Bingo at one time in the Gold Coast Bingo Hall was $214.00! I said perfect we will take two. She laughed and so did we, Jason said “Can we play more than one machine?” she said no that was illegal.
We collect our machines and go sit next to Lucy and she warns us to turn off our phones before it starts, I guess that is a major breach of Bingo protocol. The first game is under way and we find out that it is a progressive with three other casinos and the prize is $50,000.00 there might be something to this Bingo after all.
I am not going to try and describe play by play Bingo action; I wouldn’t know where to start except to say we had a ball! When you get one away from a bingo your little laptop makes a ding and I will tell you, believe it or not it is thrilling. Jason and I had money all over the table with our side bets and instead of getting in trouble the little old ladies kept coming by our table asking us who won the side bet! Next time we would just bring black chips from the Bellagio that would be much more discrete; Lucy liked the sound of that.
I can’t remember how much we won at Bingo but, I do know that we laughed and had the best time, Bingo is part of the World Series for us now and Lucy made her own little “Bingo Tribe” that night. The next time someone asks you to do something that sounds stupid don’t be too quick to judge, you may just laugh your ass off like we did.
I am a lucky man for reasons that I am sure are obvious.