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xflixx' Poker Blog

This blog is about my evolution as a poker player & trainer.
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/Oct/2013

xflixx' Week #43 - Facing My Inner Demons

By: PSO-xflixx @ 04:57 (EDT) / 1650 / Comment ( 5 )

This week I didn't really feel like a professional poker player even though I managed to get in quite some volume for my Supernova countdown. The attribute „professional“ was missing my attitude pretty much after successive losing sessions. Malicious tongues may say I tilted, and yes I did. After all these years it still happens to me sometimes, but the good news is the „tilted me“ does not go on mindless chip spewage. Instead I usually revert to a tight and weak game but that costs me a lot of EV nonetheless.

It all began with an unfortunate run of cards at my continued 500NL Zoom shot. I then decided to do a little VPP marathon at 200NL to reach my Supernova status for 2013 and started to go into buttonclicking mode more often. The combination of a bad run, my unreflected game and the pressure of time (won't be able to grind much online in November) made me doubt my own abilities. It felt like nothing I did was working and I had the feeling of becoming overrun by the competition. I immersed myself more and more with this dark side of my mindset and got what I deserved for it – a 4k downer.

This goes to show me that I need not only keep working on my theoretical understanding of the game but even more so on my mindset and attitude towards it. I let this slide too much and faciliated such a „tilt“ phase that way. My goal now is to get back to my old composure and kill all of those self doubts proactively.

I can do this, I am a winning player!

Some other issues I have been thinking about are my game selection and my grinding schedule. I guess they both need some fix as up until now all I have been doing pretty much was zooming when the pools were lacking a huge chunk of recreational players. I'm usually finding myself battling it out against the regs which inflates the variance in my game by a lot. My only winning sessions were  on two consecutive friday nights when I selected good games and pools to play. I will look to incorporate Fridays and Sundays back into my grinding schedule and also play more good regular table games when I find them. Let's see if that works on my results.

Here's a little graph documentation of my 200NL performance at both regular and Zoom tables this year up until reaching Supernova for 2013:

Regular tables NL200

Zoom NL200

Of course I'm not really happy about these results and I have to admit the 200NL Zoom graph this year breaks my heart a little. I got a lot of work to do, but right now I will look to enjoy my live poker break for November. I'm really excited about flying out to the Isle of Man for the UKIPT on Wednesday and to Vegas a week after that. Will be starting the main event of UKIPT on day 1b and keep you guys posted about chipcounts via my twitter @xflixx

For now I wish everyone a successful sunday grind!

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