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TarekGG representing himself in a format of a blog

Private blog, nothing to read here move along.
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Sit for hours in freerolls wins some cent, decides to play them in a ninehanded turbo goes all in with three people left with AQ vs AJ loses. So instead of me winning that and securing 0.26 dollar -> 1.00 dollar I now have nothing. It's so cruel and unbearable all the things I have to go through in order to just start the freaking bankroll. Hours in and hours out with luck to lose it all in one hand. I mean, I've been really lucky winning the 17cents, but that was not enough! Its blown out of proportions if you ask me. I'm having fun in the premier skill league, but not being able to play ANYTHING else than that and other freerolls just kills me. I think my level of play is actually too high for the level I'm playing right now. A nice represented bluff gets called down with three overcards on the board to make them win with a pair of fives on a board with JKT52. I mean it's so frustrating doing everything in my power to work my way up. This seriously sucks. If I had been given a few dollars from the freerolls I wouldve already had a bigger bankroll. Last time I had money I had to throw them away to get the 20VPPs and look at me now: poor. It's amazing how much time and effort I put into playing the poker tables having results close to zero. I've stopped trying in a lot of the freerolls going all in with every two card over ten, and been getting some results out of that, which again makes me even more frustrated. Good play, horrible amount of luck and still I haven't been able to win 2-3 dollars which I consider enough to get me starting. REALLY FRUSTRATED. Im just wasting time right now. Playing week in and week out to earn less than a dollar for 10 hours work a day starts to not suit me. All I need is the little dollar boost on my bankroll and I will be out of this mess. Hell why haven't pokerstars given me the 5 dollars they give to random players? This sickness me so much. AQ loses to AJ just a normal day on the poker tables, but a devasting stab in the back, face or whatever bodypart that hurts the most. Im dying, my blood and organs are slowly shutting down, I can't get over the fact of me having luck for 4hours and then being unlucky in one hand throwing all the luck away. I mean, if the luck was compensated throughout the next couple of days I wouldnt win a single hand, which means that I must keep on being lucky. Which seems very unlikly. I don't get this.. really. I mean I combine good play with luck and bad luck with bad play. And now I'm just sitting around in my bedroom thinking, why didn't I just save my money? Or? Why didnt I just with that AQ vs AJ and the problem would've been out of here. I don't want to save money everyday in order to make a so limited bankroll that I can't even lose there aswell. Taking a chance to increase the bankroll can save me hours, days and weeks. But not winning the chances I take makes the hours, days and weeks even longer.

TarekGG what's there to say other than my forehead has a word written on it saying: LOOOOOSER

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