As promised, I am now back with the REAL list. The following items were the BEST things about Vegas. While I am not going to number them all, I think the stories will sort of make it worth while reading anyway...
Signing Multiple autographs.
Sometimes when you are as famous as I am, your fans just cannot leave you alone. They pester you for a small bit of attention, and those of us blessed to be stars in the galaxy of famous, "beautiful" people (GACK!) can only do our small part to make the rest of you feel "special". My first autograph request came from the lovely Old Okie Woman, who I might add, is only 2/3rds correct in her name. She is a woman from Oklahoma, but she isn't anything but a kid! OOW was running around with a pen, and it seemed only natural (to her, I guess) to hand it to me. Now handing ME a pen is about as smart as pushing all-in versus a rock while holding KK on an ace high board! Next thing she knew, I was artfully signing her left calf! Did you remember to get the tattoo OOW, so you could shower?
A single autograph request is not enough to make even me feel certain of my celebrity status, but later on, after busting my flopped 2 pair with his crappy straight draw in the PSO sng, Zeroth requested an autograph too. I had handed Tim a photo of me (more on the photo later) as a bust out gift, and he promptly flipped it over and handed ME a pen! Never let it be said I am one to disappoint my adoring fans, so I signed it. Tim, of course, showed the benefits of his years of education as a psychologist in NOT being dumb enough to present any body parts.
Watching Lil_Lisa_W eat Oysters raw.
(sorry folks, the oysters were raw, not Lil_Lisa!)
You should have seen her face! Big John dragged me, Delstargazer, Mt_Lady, Res Ipsa, and Lisa to the oyster bar for a bit of post-bust out shell fish. Lisa dove straight in to her first ever raw oyster with all the confident trepidation of an experienced poker player holding AA on a King hi, 3 club, 4 straight river! (It LOOKED like she thought it would be ok, but she didn't seem to be entirely positive!). Lisa gulped 2 raw oysters, ate a couple more steamed (the oysters were steamed, not Lisa- no one was playing cards at the table), and then grabbed a bell man to take her to her room. I will NOT comment on the aphrodisiac properties of oysters, but the bell man was not seen again until the end of his shift! Thanks to Big John for creating a great interlude, and for buying me in. Next year dinners are on me!
Giving Baby Kandie a cigar.
KRVJ was nice enough at the last ChAPS event to bring me a box of fine cigars, stipulating that we crack the box and have one at the convention. As he was not able to attend to as much poker as I'm sure he would have liked (Noel had his beautiful family with him on a semi-business trip), I could not let the cigars go to waste. I was passing them out during the first group of speakers, when I noticed a disturbing trend- PSO'ers do NOT smoke cigars as a general rule! Res Ipsa took one, as did Moriarti. Another went to an unknown (by me) PSO'er at Moriarti's table (if you can get in here unknown person, please let me know who you are so I don't leave a name out!). I gave one to KRVJ, who popped in to say he wasn't going to be able to stay for the speakers. I kept one myself. I think SailorMoe got one as well. Someone else got one (again, please psot your name so I don't forget!), but Heartburn turned me down flat for the last one. The only Spanish Englishman in the world smokes cigarettes too! Sigh...what to do?
I offered to OOW, and to Mt_Lady. I tried to give it to Collette. I tried EVERYONE, until I came to Baby Kandie. Never one to miss the opportunity for a good line, Kandie took the proffered cigar, and then beat me to the Bill Clinton reference! DOH!!! Sometimes you can get a bad beat away from the table too! My efforts and patience in finding just the right person for my last cigar were well rewarded with an AWESOME hug! I mean AWESOME!!! Better than AWESOME...SUPER-AWESOME!!! AWESOME SQUARED!!! I mean AWESOME with a maraschino cherry on top kind of AWESOME...If there were a hug hall of fame, Kandie would be a slam dunk inagural inductee!!! Hugging Kandie is gooey knee making, back chills-running-up-your-spine kind of experience, with little goose pimple ants marching down your legs!!! I rank her hug right up there with Maggie Mayb's at the '05 event, and just below the hug I once got from Andre the Giant after a WWF event in '99...but that is another story. You get the picture. I'm just sort of glad Res Ipsa didn't pay for his cigar the same way!!!
NOT busting out first in the Binion's 8pm $70+$40 re-buy tourney.
After the 2nd day of speakers, a big group of us decided to head over to Binion's to play the tourney. As I am buying in, Just1Tex comes sidling up to me, and says "Jimmydean, gimme a 5". Now I am not a man with the strength to resist a Texas-sized drawl coming from the lips of a pettite cowgirl, so like any red-blooded PSO'er maile, I just handed over my money.
Just then, Heartburn ambled into my line of vision, and the glare of lights off his shaven head snapped me out of it, "Hey! What's that for," says I."
"Nothing much JimmyDean," says the lovely Tex, "Just a little bet. The last PSO'er out gets the cash. Oh, and the first out has to ride the mechanical bull."
"Whoa. Hold on. Back up! Time out here...I am large, I am not nimble, and I break easily. Can I have my 5$ back please?"
"Don't be a chicken, JimmyDean," says Tex, and she floats away like pretty dandelion fluff on a Texas breeze. Sigh. I can be a real moron sometimes.
You want to talk about pressure. The WSOP main event final table couldn't have stressed me more. The only thing going in my favor was the fact SailorMoe was working on his claim to biggest PSO tourney Donk of the convention, with 2 consecutive first out titles to his name. To make a long story just a little bit longer, I didn't win the 2nd pize of all the money for the PSO last longest. Thank GOD I was able to chop the first prize of NOT having to ride the bull by being first out!!! A PSO'er named Mikey took the honor of PSO rodeo champ, and we all retired to the lounge pit to revel in his embarassment after the last buster happened. Now I COULD extend this little story by telling you all about the intense alcohol fueled discussion we had concerning AK small raise vs QQ vs a an all-in call in a tourney's mid stages, or I COULD tell you about the 2 non-PSO girls who rode the bull, and writhed around up there like broken back curveaous snakes having FAR too much fun, OR I could tell you about Baby Kandie's patented lap dances, but what happens at Binion's- stays at Binion's...mostly anyway!
I could go on with the stories, but this thing is already WAY too long for most people to read. I would like to say a BIG thanks to Leon, for loaning me $100 and keeping me in the action. Leon, I managed to get back $150 at the Binion's ring game (most from Just1Tex, That'll larn' you to trap me into a bull bet girl!), and another $500 from the NLHE at the Gold Coast. Wihtout you sir, my trip would have ended after the first night. Thanks a ton.
For now, that is about it. I'll be putting more up some time soon...SEE YA!!!
OH! About that picture I gave Zeroth...
PSO gave away the COOLEST hats at the convention this year. They were red and black, and had a long chin strap. It was sort of square, so it fit on my head perfectly, and made of the nicest vinyl material. Someone said it was a mini travel cooler, but I don't believe them. I know a good hat when I see one. Mt_Lady, and OOW took a photo, and were laughing for some odd reason. OOW gave me a copy of it, and I MUST say, I looked dayum sexy! That was the photo I gave to Zeroth.