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/Feb/2013

The Black Dog :(

By: b.p.rabbit @ 21:51 (EST) / 373 / Comment ( 1 )

From late 2003 until late 2007 I worked in the field of disability as a Disabilty Development and Support Officer.  Loosly translated; a carewoker for the disabled. There was one young man i cared for who suffered from asbergers syndrome.

Asbergers syndrom is an autism spectrum disorder. Some people who have this disorder appear to be very normal apart from a few "ticks", while others may need constant care and supervision and not be able to function without it.

The young man im refering to was 14 when i met him, very outgoing but socially unskilled. He would have good times and bad times like all of us, but his bad times caused a deep depression. He had a name for this depressive state and that was "The Black Dog".

I'm starting to find I have my own "Black dog". I am starting to call my tilt sessions "the black dog sessions". This morning i had a small drama and it ended up nearly eating my whole bankroll. I'm starting to really doubt my poker game, I'm asking myself  whether im on a losing streak or if i just have a bad gambling problem? I'm not going without food and the rent is always paid, its just starting to feel like im throwing good money away for nothing.

I may need to re-asses my goals. None of my goals apart from keeping my bankroll in the plus were financial. I never really had a plan to keep my bankroll profitable and think i might have needed one!  I have watched a few videos from the library on bankroll building, and read the articles but this doesnt seem to be helping.

I'm starting to feel like the only way to improve my game is to take some time off.......but i really dont want to do that! Is that my pride getting in the way of doing the right thing or what? lol

Anyway i will continue playing freerolls and micro stakes for a week or two and if the "Black Dog" doesnt stop barking i may have to have a small holiday

Thanks for listening guys!

Take it easy or easily take it,

B.p

 

 

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