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Tilt ,Dreams & the swear Jar

poker journey of an optimist / pessimist/Dreamer
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April mess

By: divabrae @ 11:27 (EDT) / 261 / Comment ( 0 )

Hi guys first blog since xmas . i have been playing really well since the end of december steady small profit first time ever for a year lol although in feb and march towards the end of those months took a hit not sure what happend i guess varience lol !! it hurt me i managed to double my bankroll .

And then April came wow lost my entire bankroll . Lost a lot of confidence not really sure what went wrong it  , The hands that should have held did not seem to . Really awful pattern in April started if i lose another hand with kings or Aces to 82 i will scream !!

I guess sometimes poker is a game of love and hate . Pretty sure i hate it right now . I always regard this site as the best and i trust the site when they say there software is the best . But sometimes just sometimes when i keep getting beat with those silly hands for big cash i wonder i know that is crazy .Point i am trying to make is when you start losing those flips that goes thorugh your head but when your winning you dont care . Poker is such a mind game sometimes and i guess that is why the top Pros are so good they are mentally tough . And i know when i let those silly thought come into my head it affects my decsions at the table hence the big loss in April !! 

Really improved my game this year i guess i lost in April my bankroll management that is my own fault !! I might be switching to omaha i have played it a few times and enjoyed it. I reloaded twice in one week crazy . It just feels no matter how much work i put in i never get anywhere .For me the most frustrating thing is my biggest ever wins came in the first 3 months of me learning to play poker and now i know i am better player over 3 years later so what happend ? i was so proud this year of how well i have played now i am doubting my self .So that is where the mental toughness comes in !! 

I never started playing poker to win millions off course i would love the chance to play at a big tournament and win lots of money so i can take care of my family who wouldnt .But i doubt it will happen dreams come true sometimes but i have to live in the real world i am stuck like 99% of players but by building up a bankroll from limited resources feels great and by building up that bankroll it gives you a chance at bigger tournaments . But when you reload it hurts as much as i love the game its getting frustrating to watch the bankroll i have built get destroyed yet again . Always thought as myself as a lucky person in general . But i guess there is always somebody in poker that is luckier lol.Just wanted to have a moan thanks guys for reading and sorry about the depressing content lol anyways any advice would be very welcome gl guys at the table and have a great day where ever you are . 

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