I really fell in love with online pokerabout 15 months ago. So much so in fact I have been playing non-stop ever since. I ain't gonna lie I am on a super tilt right now. I have no money to even start a bankroll let alone maintain one! I am thinking about trying the new leagues next month but for now I am done.
I cannot deal with the cooler hands over and over. I cannot final table any game anymore. I tried the leagues and that was exciting at first but still $2 won't make a dent in what I have spent just gaining vpp for these leagues! I have been diced in cash games as well. I really thought I was improving for the longest time but my personal stats say otherwise. I always wanted to play a Sunday million and could never afford it or win a satellite. I just cannot do it anymore.
It pains me that I keep Pokerstars and 888 open at all times on my computer. It is like facebook but for me poker. I have to end this. How much disapointment can a person handle? Watching streams of guys final tabling constantly. They obviously know something I do not! I only play good hands but eventually get sucked out every single game. I dont donk call people with crap. (Maybe I should have?) I don't have any professional friends to guide me. I never even made a friend playing online!
It is just deposit, win insignifcant amounts, lose deposit again rinse then repeat. In reality I actually cannot afford to play anymore. I can't find work because I have a record. This has in fact been an escape for me. I like everyone else dreamed of hitting that one good score so I could play and not have to worry about depositing againand again. The lack of promotions such as deposit bonuses for regulars(who lose!) is pathetic. I am sure my story is the same as a 75.000 other players also.
Dont get me wrong I had fun and cashed in many games! I am just at rock bottom in life and poker. I would even like to just play the Sunday Storm next week but I have no money. Who knows maybe the new leagues will be a good thing? For now though I am finished. I didn't want to be the quitter but I am not able to go on.
Even writing these blogs was fun just to interact with the other pers who take the time to read them! And to people who commented and gave me advice I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I know I am complaining but don't hold it against me please? I just wanted to write one more post to wish players good luck in their games and personal lives as well. Hopefully something will improve so I can play again and enjoy myself. But that is the thing no enjoyment anymore. If you can't enjoy this what is even the point?
So I wish the best of luck to all the school members, league players and recs like myself. I truly hope you win a big one even just one time if luck permits! Hopefully it will vindicate all the time and money you spent on these online sites.
You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again.-Tom Petty
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