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Keep me honest, plz!

Enough of tilting and wishful thinking
By: vano02
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Before owing up to my promise of writing some more about revenge tilt, I really gotta squeeze this one in: my Big Bang special! Before you ask: nope, I did not win. Not even ITM. Not even in the top 200. Actually, a sad 325/392. Bummer.

And this even though I had sooo been looking forward to the tournament. Even took a nap before it started, so I would be well rested (every little edge counts ). I had also put a screenshot of my favourite cartoon right next to the Big Bang table window. Gotta have the right mind set!



Thinking about it now - I might have been trying just a tiny bit too hard to be ready. I really, really, REALLY wanted to go far in this one. Incidentally this meant that I also didn't want to bust out early.

There is a very wise poker saying, though:

„In order to live, you must be willing to die“.

I most DEFINITELY wasn't willing to die.

But I died, and how! The slowest and most painful death EVER! I kind of realised what was happening when it was happening already - but didn't quite know what to do about it.

It all began when I got TT in late position. There was this raise from middle position, and as I wasn't willing to die just yet (see above) I didn't reraise, just called, hoping to hit a set or an overpair.

Well, I got the overpair. Unfortunately on a very flushy, all hearty flop board. And no heart whatsover amongst my tens. Also, there was this BIG raise from middle position... That was it. Scaredy-pants mucked the tens.

Next time round, it gets folded to me when I'm on the button and hold K8o. I bet 3BB as a steal (yeah, I know, kinda lame in the second blind level...) and the big blind calls. The flop comes down with two nasty fours, no king and no eight anywhere in sight.

I timidly c-bet below half pot - knowing instantly it was a horrible move because the big blind, if he had any sense, would know I didn't have a 4, given how tight I'd played so far. So he could happily call with A high or any pair or even air. He could, theoretically, also be afraid that I was value betting with an overpair. But really, my bet just smelled weak. I could smell it (figuratively speaking).

Speaking of weak. I refrained from double-barrelling as the turn didn't help me. And when villain bet out I chickened out again and mucked.

By that time, exactly 30 minutes into the tournament, I was looking at this sad screen:



Now I really felt like turtle. Only without the optimism - helpless on my back with no one around to turn me back on my feet.

Then finally there they were: !!!

With one raiser and one all-in re-raiser in front of me I didn't quite feel 100% safe here (daaaa!), but it was of course an easy call - and just in case my pocket rockets got cracked, I had my blog punch line ready already: „At least I died gracefully“.

Well, I didn't. I re-joined the living. Almost back to where I started.

Then, for a time that felt like eternity I was plain card dead.

Until, yeaaaaah, again!

There was one early position (min-)raise from a rather loose stationary kind of player. So I re-raised (maybe a bit too timidly again) to 6BB to build the pot. MY POT! The flop was, ahem, unfavourable to say the least. A flushy straighty drawy board. Arrgh.

Alas, I had already put in a decent amount of my (not so abundant) chips, so the only road available to me, really, was the one ahead. As regards stationary villain, for once he had the correct odds to call...

Mhm. At least I died gracefully.


Well, this wouldn't make a good read if it wasn't for a happy ending. Would it?

So, right after Big Bang I registered for my dirty favourite, the $2.20 zoom tournament.

And man - was I willing to DIE this time!!! I hit the raise and re-raise button before you could even reach for your chips!!! (If you smell a whiff of revenge tilt around here, you might be right).

Two examples of what happened over the course of over three hours:

(PS Watch out for what scary Mr. Big Stack does on the river in hand n°1):


N°2 and last hand of the tournament (with me in it)...

Never mind. At least I died gracefully.


Next time I'll raise big, big, BIGGER!

OK, here is the real happy ending: A few days ago I received a rather unexpected mail from Pokerstars:

"Hello vano02,

Congratulations on your performance in last week's Sit & Go Leader Boards. A cash prize of USD 30.00 has been credited to your account."

It must have been during this unbelievable run last week when I scored over $100.00 profit in only three short sessions (playing $3.5 STTs, that is). Somehow I must have managed to squeeze all of them into one of those 20 games blocks that count towards the lower Mars orbit.


So, hey, I was last week's #20 of the Leaderboard - and pocketed an unexpected $30 bankroll booster. I also, incidentally, decided it might be wise to keep an eye on the SNG Battle of the Planet Leaderboard in the future. Not that it will be easy to again win four STTs and place 2nd in two STTs over a sample of six games only (what the hell did the guy who secured #1 do???).

Anyway, solely for the purpose of being totally transparent – I lost those $30 the very next day, playing $3.50 STTs. (How did I manage #20 again?)

Also for the purpose of transparency: it might have been at the end of this very same session that I went on my first multi-tabling cash game tilt since the start of my challenge (remember? I banned cash games from my poker schedule, entirely!).

Fortunately, I was at least partly in my right mind and limited myself to 4-tabling 0.01/0.02 zoom. And miraculously made over $27

Uff, that multi-tabling zoom cash tilt thing is off my chest now.

So, with all the ups and downs of winning and losing and winning and losing, I am now looking at an overall profit of $105.67 since the start of my challenge. Up $24.93 from my last post, my current bankroll at a healthy:

Alright, I'm not gonna keep you any longer from playing now.

See you at the (zoom cash...?) tables or here.








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