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Make Me Laugh

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Make Me Laugh - Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:14 PM
(#1)
TrumpinJoe's Avatar
Since: Jun 2010
Posts: 4,557
Let's have some fun!

I will offer up to 10 free entries to play $1.20 25 or 45 man SnG. The winners will be the ones whose posts in this thread only make me laugh the hardest. Beware, people accuse me of having a warped sense of humor.

Each horse will be given 1 entry, but you can make as many posts as you like to try to qualify. Qualifying will run through Friday, March 10 at 11:59:59 pm and buy-ins will be issued on Saturday. Please post the tournament number and your bust position and any payout in this thread once the game has been completed. This is NOT a stake, you get to KEEP your winnings.

Let the fun begin!
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:19 PM
(#2)
crtpaulus's Avatar
Since: Sep 2010
Posts: 39
...

Last edited by crtpaulus; Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 01:29 PM..
 
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???? - Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:24 PM
(#3)
monkeyskunk4's Avatar
Since: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,818
You said warped- so here u go-- hope u have eaten lunch already !!!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/445171...s_friends_ass/
 
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he he - Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:25 PM
(#4)
effsea's Avatar
Since: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,609
joe and l were walking in the countyside last week, and we see this cow with his head stuck in the fence,

so l run over and drop my pants, well, the cow and l have some fun,

l tell joe its his turn,

so he drops his pants, and sticks his head in the fence
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:27 PM
(#5)
crtpaulus's Avatar
Since: Sep 2010
Posts: 39
...

Last edited by crtpaulus; Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 01:29 PM..
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:27 PM
(#6)
PresBruno's Avatar
Since: Aug 2010
Posts: 294
BronzeStar
What do you call a bus full of donks driving off a cliff?

-A good start
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:29 PM
(#7)
crtpaulus's Avatar
Since: Sep 2010
Posts: 39
...

Last edited by crtpaulus; Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 01:29 PM..
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:34 PM
(#8)
justletme142's Avatar
Since: Dec 2010
Posts: 72
I took nodooze and nyquil at the same time had a dream i couldnt sleep
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:36 PM
(#9)
antlovesang1's Avatar
Since: May 2010
Posts: 931
how many donks does it take to win a WSOP???

1 - PHIL HELLMUTH

 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:42 PM
(#10)
justletme142's Avatar
Since: Dec 2010
Posts: 72
Trooper pulls over a speeder and begins to give him at ticket but a fly keeps buzzing around the troopers head- the speeder says u know what we call those flies back home-horse flies- they hang around a horses ass. You calling me a horses ass the trooper asked angrily.No smiled the speeder-but you sure cant fool them flies.
 
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hilarius - Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:43 PM
(#11)
monkeyskunk4's Avatar
Since: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,818
Quote:
Originally Posted by crtpaulus
You said warped- so here u go-- hope u have eaten lunch already !!!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/445171...s_friends_ass/
Well know we know you watch animal porn lmao



Now this is priceless-- in an attempt to insult me- crtpaulus took my post - made it his own- and then made fun of himself-- now that is hilarious-- !! he should win a seat----

Last edited by monkeyskunk4; Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 12:44 PM.. Reason: hilarios to hilarioUs
 
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Science discovery - Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:46 PM
(#12)
annie_22at90's Avatar
Since: Jun 2010
Posts: 864
Queens University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science: Governmentium.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium,
since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:48 PM
(#13)
topthecat's Avatar
Since: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,962
This is a true story but it might tickle your funny bone?

I live in Germany, come originally from Ireland, and last year my son and his family were over for a visit.

We were out having a nice lunch in the centre of Munich, and the youngest lad, who is seven said to had to go to the toilet.

I told him the toilets were just at the end of the room to the left and off he trooped.

He arrived back sheepishly a few minutes later and sat down beside me.

"Grandad", he said, "I think Germany is a very strange country".

"Why is that, Caoimhin?", I asked

"Well when I went to the toilet, there was no where for boys to pee standing up and the place was full of women."

"Which toilet did you go to, Caoimh?" I inquired.

"The one marked Da Men, off course. You are silly sometimes, Grandad."

The family are still laughing about it.
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 12:51 PM
(#14)
crtpaulus's Avatar
Since: Sep 2010
Posts: 39
...

Last edited by crtpaulus; Wed Mar 09, 2011 at 01:15 PM..
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 01:02 PM
(#15)
justletme142's Avatar
Since: Dec 2010
Posts: 72
The priest was making his regular saturday visits to the elderly and shutins who couldnt attend regular sunday service.Normally on these visits the offers of cake and tea and the like would get him through the day.This one particular day though no one had offered him even a crumb and he was getting quite peckish by the time he got to his 5th visit of the day.How about some tea this 5th visit offered-would love some he said.As she went to prepare the tea he began to work on the next days sermon.A bowl of peanuts was on the coffee table and he snacked on them as he waited for the tea.Occuppied with his sermon, he didnt notice that he had eaten almost all the peanuts.When the lady returned with the tea he noticed what he had done and said sorry I seem to have eaten most of your peanuts.Thats ok she said since I got my teeth out all I can do is suck the chocolate off them anyways.
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 01:09 PM
(#16)
ericlee1984's Avatar
Since: Nov 2010
Posts: 311
BronzeStar
How Long is a china man???

















































Thats his name Howe Long
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 01:13 PM
(#17)
ericlee1984's Avatar
Since: Nov 2010
Posts: 311
BronzeStar
this is a true story....one time my brother was at my house in the kitchen with a bowl of macaroni and a open loaf of bread,...i ask him what the hell he is doing and he says whats it look like "I'm making a macaroni and cheese sandwich"

lol who the heck eats macaroni and cheese on bread......my 30 year old brother does i suppose
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 01:13 PM
(#18)
goofymayor's Avatar
Since: Mar 2011
Posts: 18
BronzeStar
New to this but here goes
*Disclaimer* all names are fictional and do not represent real people*

"3 ladies of the night" are sitting around talking about therenight. The first ladie says I was with a poker player last night this guy "RumpinToe" was giving it to me and every thrust he would calculate the odds and tell me the percentages that he would hit the flop.
The second lady says oh yah well I was with awanna be poker player and polotician. This guy "respruno" kept telling me he was the greatest, I was a donk and that never wel---- ah hm never """inhaled""". The third lady of the night said well I have that topped I was with a Canadian farmer last night. This guy "oofynayor" first he told me i was to wet, then to dry, next I wasn't warm enough and lastly I was to cold. To top it off after he was done he asked me If i had any free hats or shirts.
Thank You for the opportunity
Regards
Goofymayor
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 01:13 PM
(#19)
roomik17's Avatar
Since: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,556
BronzeStar
poor Joe he said make him laugh not cry, and scratch his head
 
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Wed Mar 09, 2011, 01:14 PM
(#20)
JT_Sooooted's Avatar
Since: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,407
BronzeStar
Hey Joe,

I took my wife to a dog fight last night................................she LOST!

JT
 

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